God Why Am I Here?
The Dicussion of Suicides and Self-Harm.
“ Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? Sadly not me, has it ever been me? As I look into the mirror all I see is bleak. I see a reflection in front of me, but I can’t even depict if that’s even me. I look around to anyone for me to reach, but life has shown me that I’m not worthy to keep. I feel as though my life has come to its peak. So, I’ll just simply close my eyes and forever sleep. But wait, is this really all? God didn’t make me to only fall. Who am I, and why am I here? God, show me and make it clear. For I don’t know how much longer I can last here. Be my strength, my guide, my all in all.
*Hello, Lovelies, how are you all doing? Good, that’s great, keep it that way. And if it’s going bad, well let’s find a way to fix it so we can live out our best lives! For mankind was not created for anything less than but rather greatness! Anywhoooo, let’s jump in this thing.
“God Why Am I Here?” ( Suicides and Self-harm)
Deuteronomy 30:19-20 KJV
“ I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: that thou mayest love the Lord thy God, and that thou mayest obey his obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.”
Suicides and Self Harm. As a world we have become slightly numb to the thought of someone committing suicides and self harm or participating in it themselves . The idea of the two have become a norm within people’s daily lives. What, how, and why are people dying daily to escape a life that has caused them nothing but pain. Where was the help, the family, the friends, where was anyone when that individual needed someone in their last moments? Globally, more than 800,000 people die to suicides every year, every 11 minutes there is 1 death occurring. In adults and children 12 million people have serious thoughts of suicide, 3.5 million made plans for suicide, and 1.4 million attempted suicide. This is a major issue which needs to be discussed in each of our homes, and amongst family and friends. For there is no specific look, race, gender, job status, number of degrees that will exclude or admit a person to or from suicides. Many times it’s the individuals we least expect. It’s time for a change!
Let’s talk real for a moment. Are you just done with life? Tired of how it’s treating you? People seem to just not care about you and nothing you do is ever right? Are you in a verbal, physical, or mental abusive environment or state? Past traumas keep haunting you, not being able to even go to sleep without your mind constantly on replay on the things you’re running away from. Are you being bullied or harassed at school or in the workplace? Too fat, too skinny, too dark, too pale, too ugly, too slow, too proper or simply just different? These are all the playing cards of the start of suicidal thoughts. “ God why am I not loved, why doesn’t anyone seem to care about me? Life has literally chewed me up and spit me out and is laughing at the failure that I am. Am I even worthy enough of being here? I’m tired, and if I’m being honest, if push comes to shove one more time I’m just going to end it all. Making it all go away, molding my existence into just a memory. Being forgotten, even though it feels like I’m already forgotten. God, why am I here? You placed me here and yet for what? I feel utterly useless.”
Hanging, drug overdose, drowning, firearms, jumping from great heights, immolation, stabbing, carbon monoxide poisoning, suffocating, alcohol are simply different forms individuals use to commit suicide.
Thoughts. Actions. Product. This is the order we take in doing anything. The mind can be a dangerous place. The voices inside the mind drags you to a deep dark abyss that no one would dare enter. Once thoughts are pondered on too long, actions begin to occur. Anyone familiar with their trusty friend the blade? The silver sharp friend that numbs the pain. Wrist, arms, legs, and stomach, cutting to take you away from all the reminders of your falling world. Many of us as children were abused by parents, molested by family members or outside adults, degraded for our mental state, body appearance or complexion. As children we witnessed the favoritism between yourself and your siblings, or your mom and dad being the best parents to your siblings that you wish you had. Now as adults, all we know most is being broken and mistreated. So in turn, many indulge in alcoholism, drugs, or self harm because the minor pain from the cutting or other addictions takes our mind from the overwhelming pain we experience in life daily lives. We begin to think inside how much more can I take? Does anybody notice? Oh of course not, the weight loss or gain, the long sleeves shirts/hoodies you wear during all seasons, the lack of observation from others of your diminishing personality, the slight jumps when anyone approaches you, the negative comments you give about yourself, or the sudden changes in appearance simply to see if anyone will notice your cry for help. Yet who would ever know? The voices in your mind keep telling you that no one cares about me, nobody seems to care about me. So why should I care? Harmful thoughts plus actions equals self-harm or worse suicide.
Now, I know I’m getting really deep, and probably making some of you uncomfortable. However, that’s the problem, too many Christians in the church have made all of us so comfortable, and want to make so many topics taboo and politically correct. The fact of the matter is many Christians lack the resources to help others or notice the small indicators of an individual going through suicidal thoughts. Instead of doing the research to better our knowledge to educate others and reaching the mark in this tragic issue: many Christians do want they do best, sweeping other topic under the rug. Creating this illusion that what’s happening isn’t really real, simply a figment of their imagination and what some Christians fail to realize is this approach is pushing the saved and unsaved away. Proclaiming that you’ll pray for them, but won’t call, text, or give your time to be there for them. Daily people are coming with open arms with their life-threatening issues and the church is making their problems irrelevant. When in reality, there problems are very real. People who are battling with suicidal thoughts and self-harm are going through life walking on eggshells. Already broken and cracked and with the slightest pressure their whole sanity crumbles into pieces. The burdens of panic, shame and grief, overload of constant responsibility from all sides, tolerating toxic relationships knowing its wrong but can’t find a way out. Yet several churches only want to rise from the sidelines and feel sorrowful when a tragedy happens. But by that point it is too late, once again another potential, impactful soul lost. This. Must. Stop. Real conversation brings discomfort. Depression and anxiety are two big tornadoes that bring forth a world wind of emotions.
To the people who are battling with suicidal thoughts and self-harm first things first; the most important thing you could ever know is this. My dears, you all are loved. In 1John 4:9-10 it states, “9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” God our Heavenly Father sent his ONLY SON ( Jesus) to die for the entire world ( John 3:16), because He loved each of us that much. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but I’m not referring to the world and earthly acceptance and desires. But rather a spiritual oneness with an agape love that no one can take away from you(1 John 3:1). God’s love is so euphoric and fulfilling in any dark place. The first step to coming out of suicidal thoughts and self-harm is salvation. I strongly encourage each of you to check out B.U.’s podcast Who Am I? ( Salvation) to get a clear vision about God’s love and the sacrifice He made for you. Once salvation, get a Bible or download the Bible app and simply start with understanding the love God has for you. ( Bible verses such as Philippians 4:6-7, Isaiah 41:10, Matthew 11:28-30, Psalms 139:4, Jeremiah 17:14, 1 Peter 5: 6-7, and Psalm 94:18-19 are starters on your new walk with Christ). Like anything in life, this will take time, it will not be an overnight change. However, with God, He will slowly bring you out of your current state to recovery. Find each day one thing about yourself you like, regardless of what the haters have said, but what God has said and thank Him for it! For in order to want love from anyone else, one must first love themself.
If you are thinking about committing suicide or inflicting harm be honest with yourself. Do you honestly think what you are doing now or plan to do is truly the answer? The pain you inflict on yourself may drift away for a while but each time the void and emptiness will hit you harder as you continue to avoid it. The failed attempt wasn't a failure but a second chance to choose Jesus. He doesn’t want you on the run, you’re not some criminal who has to flee from their adversity. You may be asking why am I here? Simple, it’s because God placed you here, He doesn’t view you as worthless, but loved, worthy, and important. Colossians 3:12 says, “ Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering.” Replace the self-harm with God’s love, use positive affirmations to build yourself back up. Ask God to guide you to what He has for your life and speak them into existence. Whether you know it or not WORDS ARE POWERFUL! When you constantly say you’re nothing or a mistake, you are speaking that into your life without even realizing it. The thoughts of ending your life all together begins with the mind and people speaking over you. Overall, the devil is who it’s all coming from because just like God, he knows the forces that are within you lying dormant. He knows that if I convince he/she that they’re a product of failure and end it completely. He wins, you eternally lost a battle with Satan you didn’t even realize you were fighting. Never allow people to speak negatively of you, it’s not a “ joke” this is your life. They too can speak into your life as well. If possible, distancing yourself from the crowd is needed. You don’t need all the friends. If life affords you two true friends you have done well. However, at some points in life you may have none. Which is okay, being alone sometimes is part of the journey when you’re on the path to walking with God. It may be lonely, but through the loneliness remind yourself who God said you are, Loved and Worthy!
I challenge everyone reading this to go look in the mirror at yourself, and tell yourself are not a mistake, God doesn’t make mistakes. Man was wrong about you and I’m sorry humanity hurt you, please understand it was never God but rather man being influenced by Satan due the sin in their hearts. Ending your life is not the answer you’re looking for. It’s simply another form of escaping your problems, only with this you can’t go back. Oh newsflash, someone is noticing, don’t think ending it won’t affect anybody because it will. Every choice you make are like rippling waves, it starts with you but it carries on to every person present in your life. Items you use to harm yourself with, I beg you to dispose of them. Feeling the urge, make a phone call, call someone you can trust. Don’t have anyone? Don’t worry love, contact B.U. I’m willing here for you.
To the individuals, who may not be battling with suicide or self-harm. GET EDUCATED! Make it a mission within yourself to do your research to find out the different signs, ticks, or life adjustments, suicidal people use. Become observant, begin to notice the changes in demeanor of your family and friends. Along with questioning and talking to your loved ones, if you notice a difference ask them about. Check in on that individual whether they tell you or not. Tell them you love them through your words and actions. BE THERE! It’s time to end the blind eye, the need for restoration is now.
Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s the most loved and worthy of them all? YOU.
God Why AM I Here?
The lack of discussion in the Christian Community is leading to so many deaths daily. We have to be there for them. In all seriousness, I hope you release all your burdens to God for He is the one who can make you whole. If you are having suicidal thoughts there is nothing wrong with getting help. Call 1(800)-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is always available in any circumstances. We have the resources, use them.
We are all called to make a difference, so go out and do amazing things!
